What’s one positive trait you’ve gained because of BPD?
Last Updated: 24.06.2025 04:08
I never cut or harmed myself..
With Catholic nuns and Church on Sundays.
Im constanly in a state of FLIGHT or FIGHT my whole life
The 10 Best Movies and TV Shows to Watch This Weekend - Vulture
When she asked me how she looked .
Those are used to try and block the pain, like that of my life out..
This is how, and why children get BPD.
How do you know when someone really loves you?
As his daughter ,he didn’t even think I wouldn,t do it. (Look after him)
But people really die of the Big T Trauma!!
This is soul school!.
Plug Power Stock Is Heating Up On Short Squeeze Hopes. Should You Buy PLUG Here? - Barchart.com
Then he’ d take out his beloved lump hammer ,show it to the kids.
So, i spoilt her more .
But there where , these other acts only us 2 girls, would receive, (When id have rather had his lump hammer , and chisel.).
Are there any free methods to remove only the vocals (not music) from an MP4 file?
He took out the hammer, and explained again, how the smallest tap ,of this hammer would kill me in a second.
I am a twin , my twin is a boy called Alan. I had a sister and 2 other brothers
I did write a poem about him though, and my mum.
Google Play Store replaces ‘1-tap buy’ with ‘Slide to buy’ - 9to5Google
One of his many names for me was Runt .He like that it rhymed with (well you know)
I got to know the terrible awful childhood, he had himself. And his Jolly Pub Persona.
My place (mostly )was the coal hole..it was a small room heaped with coal .
What is the one unconventional piece of Stoic advice that has significantly improved your life?
We born here on earth , for the soul to learn , the contrast, of heaven.
She wouldn,t have been !
Everytime, i saw a chronically ill person in middle years.
The cloud broke Thursday and it'll happen again - how to protect your business before then - ZDNET
I don,t even have a pension.
On the 31st of Jan this month .
She died young (from the stress and abuse of Big T Trauma) of liver cancer!
I had hoped to write a book about this .
Trauma lives in the body, as ive explained, but it actually this that kills you in the end.
Anyway ,i could never hold on to a relationship.
I only stopped writing poetry recently, because , of my brain tumor
Im still living with it.
And i know him well ,and every thing about him. This relationship, is the only real one iIve been able to keep!
Are Turks ashamed of their Islamic heritage?
The same beautiful brown eyes my mother loved so much!
You’d think that being brought up for so long, in those terrible circumsatances ,i would know the ways of people ,and the world, but i wasn,t in , nor of the world .
The coal was sharp, and i usually had no underware! So my bare arse ,was cut and rossened on the coal..
Older Americans are happiest living in these 5 US states, study says — is yours one of them? - Yahoo
I was scared of men, in general
As i said though i will be 64 on my last birthday!
.I left my 2 sons and my husband to do it. Instead of spending the day with them
Check your tickets! Winning MegaMillions ticket sold in Ohio - WHIO TV
She married twice! .
Because huge Trauma like mine is alive.
Took her away on holiday ,with us, my 2 pugs her dog, a Jack Russell.
Why do people with straight hair think curly hair is so easy to take care of?
Youll pack your bags and leave Dorset.
One cannot live in the past .
Im a true spealist, because i study it for years .And i still do..
Ryu Ga Gotoku Studio's Project Century Gets A Strange New Title - GameSpot
She was in good health!
I was the most vunerable of my siblings. I was born small ,and was sickly ,and of course none of us could ever thrive!
Even in the coal hole, i said the lines in my head..
We could never speak unless he spoke to us!
Thats being isolated in a house, locked up as a child .We never saw any people except in School and we had no relatives in Liverpool!
I forgave my father,, and in those years i cleaned and looked after him .
Do all the shopping, and cooking and look after all the dogs.
She said her life with him ,was love, and spoke to me of all the passion, it had brought her.
I might have to go back 30 generations or more..
It comes from Big T Trauma and is no fault of anyone who has it.
I will be 64.
You don’ t get a state one here , in England ? until your at least 67 yrs old ! Im 63.
I wasn’t taught any boundries, our home ,was like any war zone , and Dad told us, he had bodies buried, under the floor boards.
He weighed in at 5 lbs .I was the second born, and i weighed 3 and a half pounds.
Where the ultimate outsiders.
She loved him until the end.
One cannot hold on to bitterness.
I said to her
Your thinking ,but those kids would have been street wise?
Would this be the day?
She found it foreign!.
I ended up cooking for her, and bringing her eveywhere with us.
But ive been too sick for many years..
But im dying ,and its too late for me.
I let him have the joy of his friends( that i would never know myself.!)
His mum and dad ,were Alcoholics!
For him, I cleaned and cooked and shopped, and spent the whole day, doing a weeks work) in the only day off, i had, besides Sunday.)
And as runt ,of the litter .Which of course, i actually was!
And ive living now since 2005, on disablement .(Which is a pittance)
My twin will have involuntary pissed himself, but not me at least not, that day!
He was a brick layer (when he worked at all) and he carried his tools around ,hanging from a money belt.
But im an empath, and i help lots of people.
Although he,d calmed down a bit ..he still shouted his orders at me and thought , my older sister would be better at the job..
Then later on when my husband had gone to the bar..she started telling me, that they where having a affair, and that he loved her much more then me ,and other loads of visious lies.
I was grabbed out of my mother hung upside down, and rushed up to the prenatal ward, to spend 4 mths alone, with, only medical staff.
One was a lump hammer, another was a iron chisel.
Im dying but, im not bitter.
And, all my friends down the years ,where users.
As i gave and gave ,everything to people, they began to use me.
I think the readers, may guess!
Im kind ,and give many things, inc money ,to any of persons in need. I have a groups of homeless beggars ..i help out daily. They all know me by name!
Thats was my nicest nick name for him
Anyway, i told my husband ,and he was gobsmacked.
They look at me amazed ,and ask me how i could possibly know it?
What did i know ?
And when you live in a life , of being terrified, and shocked, and permantly stressed; especially as a child born in to all this .
I waited trembling.
She stayed with him because she thought he,d grow out of it. He didn’t of course!
As is all addictions, people can’t leave off.
I forgave my father, and i took care of him ,until his death in 1999..my mum left us on the 29th Jan 1998.
He was dying to do it , i knew.
I could never make a relationship work though!
His abuse (his own) began at 2 years of age. His mothers friend, sexually abused him, from the age of 2.
We wern’t close any more, the family fractured, after my Mothers death, and seeing me annoyed them ,as i was the familys scapegoat..
We were not on the streets..
Its like, taking poison, and hoping the other person will die.
Being very nice and never wanting to say the wrong thing.
Yes, a stroke or heart attack is the reason on your death certificate.
Ther’s very good reasons why i was left alone.
I was very sick at this time too.
I do have abandomment issues but they come from being left alone ,without my mum, or any of my family in a incubator for 4 months.
And i lived it daily.
At this time i had honed my heart to the same, as that of a lion and i knew i wouldn’t beg or cry ,nor plead.
It was going to be , some day.
I watched his eyes light up and his twisted smile rejoice, in his joy of it all.
She was a women, a mother with her own children!.
Trauma never leaves you! Its actually lives in the fashia ,of the body .The connective tissue.
He isn,t a very sexual person at the best of times!
We were all going out this night to a fancy resteraunt.
But im a psyci anyway, and i read energy and people, .
I did it because my mum asked me too!
BPD only comes to a person who has suffered childhood trauma.
Why did i forgive my father ?
Due to the real legacy of trauma (B.P.D)
A line in front of him, from the eldest to the youngest.
Especially a lifetime of it.
Rather to engertic for me ,with my terrible health, but i was left to run the house, it was a Cottage in Dorset.
Stress hormones Adrenaline and Cortosol ,would have flooded my brain, and they never left it!!!!
The apprentership one gets in Extreme Big T Trauma childhood is insight and extreme awarness.
Put me off passion for life!!
He knew the spot.
But it wasn’t much.
It will be my last birthday ,as im dying of a brain tumor and 8 other autoimune diseases.
But my sister and my other 3 brothers wouldn’t have come near him every again!
My dad was a alcholic psychopath, and violent in the extreme.
He said i reminded him of an old aunt ,who used to beat him, and when the menapause came, she was placed in a mental home and never was released ,until she died.
Its a big thing in the States for the last 25 years.
That life, was meant to be , as the world teaches us great lessons, and leaves us many gifts.
My only sister also couldn,t make her life work.
They are buried together, in the same grave..
As i do to all so called friends.?
The only way to get rid of it forgood ,is sommence therapy,
As she had lost her son ,to fatty liver disease!
I only knew my twisted world , and there, is no choice for a child but to live in it. Or Die in it!
My familys so full of ancestral BIG T Trauma.
Mine was extreme ,and lasted 19 years
My family never makes their pension either.
But i am married 43 years to my husband this July !
I suffer greatly, because of BPD..
(And it was in our own minds.)
So he went home with my mum to her 2 other children.
All the time i was locked up.
I worked then as a chef ,and a very good one.
He said i’d end up like her, and he laughed his big rolicking bear of a laugh!
Although we always gave her a kiss on the cheek. She would shrink away from it!
I had offered the whole expense of the holiday to her, free.
He’d sit me down, and stand behind the chair, Then he’d make a great show of his beauty (the chesil )and place it behind my neck ,at the base!
But, we were locked up after school.
We didn’t no it wasn;t normal life..we were isolated, and taken from Dublin in Ireland ,where our whole mothers family lived , to Liverpool in England!
My life is so biszare .
I was seconnd youngest,
I of course replied” arh beautiful!
Why do we forgive? Because if we don,t
I was 9 years of age.
And if you hold on to hate you only die inside yourself,!
Insight, and i can spot a wrongin from 3 miles away.
He did pay me though, i made him (.After i’d trudged miles to get his pension ) Before ,it all was gone, over the pubs counter!
I couldn’t, believe it.
I had many talking therapys , but they just don,t work.
19 years ,i spent with dear old papa.
Its mostly always from childhood abuse .
Ive learnt so much.
Another so called friend had bit the dust..
5 of us kids, and it wasn’t a big house.
Because , i didnt have the heart to hurt my friend.!.
He had many friends, who didn,t know the home devil he was, for his sake ,i never enlighted them either.
I was writing from the time i was a small child.
And who doesn’t know suffering?
I have no regrets .
Why ? because Trauma depletes the immune system.you get terribley ill , with chronic disease from all the horror ,and stress of it.
And don,t forget my 4 months alone, in the incubator. Knowing my brother in the womb and my mother voice .The baby knows she’s alone!
She died at 55 of colon cancer.
I immediatly know and see what their chidhood was. I tell them you had a awful time in childhood.
He resisted the act ,that day.
So whats the point in blame.
The only rule us 5 kids had .
I know ,a lot about trauma.
Like some twisted love , they where addicted to each other
But i went to school ,and was locked up evey evening , until he was off out on a bender..then mum would set us free, and we,d be bouncing off the walls,
We all went to grammer schools
Who then, do I blame.?
My mum and dad in the seventies!
Comes on , in middle age.
One women pretended to my husband she wanted to see me for coffee ,and make friends.
Her first husband, had been a gay man ,and he was a lovely person.
I write beautiful poetry .
But he said ,he was sick of her anyway ,and only put up with her as i had a friend ,and seemed to be happy.
But it has taught me many things other people will , never know!
So i became my fathers slave and he hated me the most.
She was deluded, and thought she could stay on for the reminder of the holiday!
He call us down, from where ever he stashed each one of us ,that day ! We were kept seperate.!
And as she herself ,wasn’t kissed or touched as a child.
She got all dolled up, but it looked as she was dressed up to play the part of , Florence Nightingale ,as she descended down the cottage stairs ,like a Queen.
He’d bring us out ,and we would form the position .
My mother wasn’t a tactile women ..only as babes could she touch us. After we grew ,she couldn,t touch any of us.
Was to survive, this bastard.
When he wanted one of his lessons to be taught!
Also my liver and lungs are fatally diseased!